Most of us know people who spent years with their partner only to break up out of the blue. Believe me, it happens quite a lot. But the question is, why? What goes on between couples that causes them to split within seconds? Sure, there could be several reasons, but there is a common one, and that is infidelity. How do I know that, you ask? Well, I recently spoke to a marriage infidelity private investigator in Oklahoma City.
My conversation with the detective was eye-opening, as he let me into some of the things he observed in the various cases he investigated through the years. Here is what I learned.
Once A Cheat Always A Cheat
Imagine thinking that you and your partner were made for each other, only to find out that they were seeing someone else behind your back. I can’t begin to recount the number of times I came across people who experienced this, and it’s always heartbreaking. So, I wondered, why would someone destroy that built-up trust like it was nothing? According to the investigator I spoke to, people usually cheat because of marital frustration and a lack of communication with their partner.
Remember, married or not, walking on eggshells and bottling your feelings down is never the solution and only leads to problems later. But let me tell you, these aren’t the only reasons why people cheat. Some partners simply lack empathy and just don’t care about other people’s feelings and the repercussions of infidelity. They do what they want, whenever.
An Investigator’s Opinion On Why Extramarital Affairs Happen
Earlier, I talked about two of the most common reasons why people are not faithful in their relationships. They were marital frustration and a lack of empathy. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg because I discovered several other reasons after my conversation with the divorce private investigator, Guthrie, OK.
Some Partners Cheat Because Of A Traumatic Childhood
Let me just make it clear, I have zero sympathy for people who break their partner’s heart, but I may have a soft spot for partners who cheated because they suffered from a traumatic childhood. Does it excuse their behaviour? Of course not, but some people simply can’t make good decisions because of how messed up their brains are from childhood trauma.
Learning that victims of parental neglect, sexual, emotional, and physical abuse cheat on their partners because they don’t know how to deal with their unresolved issues shook me. It could happen to anyone. What makes matters worse is that people who lack empathy often fake having a traumatic childhood as an excuse to cheat. I just hope people can spot the red flags early before they are too deep in the relationship.
Some People Just Need Excitement
Some people just don’t know when to stop, do they? They are always after the thrill of the chase, so it makes total sense why they would have extramarital affairs. These people lose interest in their partners very quickly and spend months, if not years, pretending they are happy. In reality, they chase other relationships to get that jolt of excitement they felt before they married.
The marital infidelity private investigator in Warr Acres, OK, told me that these people do not understand the importance of fighting for their relationship and how to develop love over time. It’s why they give up on their spouse, like it’s not a big deal.
Attachment Issues Are A Real Thing
I used to think that people who said they struggled with feeling attached to people were just faking it. How wrong was I? After listening to psychologists and private investigators, it became clear that attachment issues are a real thing. I learned that there are several attachment styles; some people just struggle with intimacy, while others feel insecure.
If you think your partner is too avoidant, please discuss this with them. It could be nothing, but it could also indicate a possible problem.
Addiction Makes People Promiscuous
An adultery private investigator, Nichols Hills, OK, once told me how so many of her clients who cheated were substance abusers. Alcoholics, in particular, make people extra careless, which is why they have affairs while they are out drinking or partying. I can’t even count on my fingers how many people I know who destroyed their relationships just because they couldn’t control their bad habits.
If you or your partner suffers from this issue, I would strongly suggest going to rehab. It may hurt at first, but believe me, it could save your marriage.
The Still Got It Phenomenon
Would you believe me if I told you that some people cheat just to see if they still “had it”? Well, it’s more common than you think. Some people who reach a certain age start questioning how they look. They just don’t feel secure in their bodies, which is why they try to have extramarital affairs with people significantly younger than them.
You might be wondering why they do that. Well, it’s clear, isn’t it? Being in a relationship with someone significantly younger validates the cheaters, making them think that they still have their youthful looks. I know, I know, it sounds gross.
No Boundaries, No Respect
Some partners just don’t know when and how to say no. You might think, “So what if I don’t say no?” Well, that’s exactly the problem. Some partners are opportunists and are waiting for the chance to have relationships outside the marriage. Detectives often tell me that partners often cheat people pleasers. So please, listen to me and learn from other people’s lessons. Set boundaries and don’t be a people pleaser!
Every Relationship Needs Work
If you want your relationship to last for a long time, you need to put in the effort. Sadly, I notice many couples that don’t and end up splitting up eventually. I hope the information I shared in this article helps you find a good balance in your married life.
If you suspect something off about your partner’s behavior and just want to check if they are faithful, I would suggest getting in touch with Private Investigator Oklahoma City by dropping us an email at vivien@ojpslegal.com or calling at (405) 403-0106. Our experts will help you find an experienced marriage infidelity private investigator in OKC and answer all of your queries.
